A lunatic assaulted two girls in a laundry and ran away. The news paper report had the headline, "Nut hammers washers and bolts!"

A new born girl was called Hazel. Her grandmother was upset, and said "with all the names in the world do you have to call her after a NUT?'

In medical terminology 'Thrill' means- the heart murmur that is felt by placing the hand on the chest wall is said to be accompanied by a thrill. A doctor was examining an actress, who complained of chest pain. He said, "I don't seem to get the 'thrill'. The actress said, "You are the first one to say that!"

The commander of a regiment of the British army fighting in China asked a tailoring form whether they could stitch uniforms for the 'Middlesex Regiment'. The manager of the firm replied, "We can stitch for men or women, not for the Middlesex."

A new writer gave his work to a famous critic and said, "Please review my writing and tell me whether I should put more fire into it". The critic replied, 'I suggest you put your writing into fire".

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This is a puzzle. Please try solving it. "Eisenhower has a long one, Eden has a short one, the pope has one, but he does not use it, and the bridegroom gives it to the bride on the wedding day." It is not 'what you thought'. It is the Surname!

In one of the suburbs of Mumbai a hospital and the crematorium are close to each other separated by a low wall. The easiest way to the crematorium is through the hospital.