R E A L L I F E C A S E S
Dignity Foundation, BMC School Building, Topiwala Lane, Opp. Lamington Road Police Station, Mumbai 400 007. India.
Telephone: 23898079 / 23841845 / 23814356 · Fax: 23898082 · Email: info@dignityfoundation.com
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"I am 92 and want to change my nominee, but no one to help"
Mrs Sanghvi, a 92 year old lady called to say that she has an account with a bank and wants to change her nominees. Volunteer visited her and understood her need to change her nominee. Due to health problems, Mrs. Sanghvi found it difficult to go to the bank and complete the formalities. The volunteer met the bank manager who agreed to send the forms to Mrs. Sanghvi. It was duly sent and she managed to change the nominee. Volunteer continues to visit Mrs. Sanghvi to provide her companionship.
"I have four children and want to go to an old age home"... "No" said the children
Mr. Chaubal, an 87-year-old man, wanted a volunteer to visit him to listen to his story. He has four children all well settled and he had decided to stay separately as his grandchildren are all grown up. One of his children supports him financially. According to the volunteer, Mr. Chaubal is a fit and alert person mentally with an eyesight problem. In spite of a lot of facilities at home, his age does not permit him to use them. He was looking forward to moving to an old age home. Volunteer discussed this with his children and none of them were keen on sending him to an old age home. As an alternative, they have all agreed to visit him more often. As of present, he's ailing, but his children visit him often to give the necessary help.
"Want baby sitting for my old parents and my daughter"
Mrs Fonseca is an 89-year-old lady and her daughter Sarah called to state the problem. Sarah's parents were both ailing and they were living with her family. Mrs Fonseca urgently needed an operation due to a fracture and Sarah was in quite a desperate situation having to take care of her ailing father, her tiny daughter and her husband apart from Mrs. Fonseca. Sarah called Dignity Foundation to see if any of the volunteers could help when Mrs. Fonseca was taken to the hospital. Sarah was basically looking for someone to relieve her for a few hours so that she could attend to the other family members as well. Five of the volunteers agreed to take turns to sit with Mrs. Fonseca at the hospital. Thus Sarah was relieved to some extent.
"I have a home but I am not allowed to live there"
Sheela is 67 years old. She has 3 sons and 2 daughters who are all married. Initially, all the sons and the parents were staying together in the flat, which was in her husband's name. The two elder sons purchased their own house and started staying separately. Sheela's husband died and the flat was not transferred to her name. The youngest son asked for the permission to stay with the mother and committed that he would take care of the mother and in a few months started verbally abusing her. She went and stayed with her other son who did not allow her to enter the house and was intent on grabbing the property. Sheela though not under any physical threat, she is in immense distress because she is not allowed to stay in her own home belonging to her husband.
Dignity Foundation registered the case and applied all techniques of bringing relief under given circumstances. In many sittings the case was analysed, all parties heard, and Sheela's position explained. Adjustments from all the members was required. The Foundation has since satisfactorily solved the problem. Sheela now lives in her own (husband's) flat.
"I live alone; but have a daughter problem"
Ahalya Kumar is 85 years. She lives alone in her palatial flat at one of the best localities in Mumbai. Her 54-year-old daughter also lives alone, but progressively the latter's mental illness became worse. Ahalya had to visit her daughter every morning, given food etc. The flat also had to be cleaned etc. Every morning at 6 a.m. she would go and undertake all these chores without tiring. But, the old lady was distressed as she did not have any one to advice her about what more could be done to help her daughter. The elder daughter was very supportive but since she lived in another city she was not available on an everyday basis.
The case was brought to the Foundation by Ahalya. The daughter's physical and mental condition was assessed based on which recommendations were made. The daughter has now been put to the care of an institution well-known for care giving in such cases. It was not an easy undertaking, as the daughter is adamant, and will not listen to any suggestion. But things have been sorted out since then. Ahalya lives peacefully in her flat and visits her daughter frequently.
" Married daughter's interference"
Ambalika Kumar called to say that she's facing harassment from her daughter-in-law, Ramani. Ambalika's son Praveen, husband of Ramani, supported this view. Two volunteers from Dignity Foundation spoke in detail to Ambalika and Praveen on one side and Ramani on the other. According to Ambalika and Praveen, this was Ramani's second marriage and they felt she continued to visit her first husband's house, which was not at all right by them. Another complaint was that she was preventing Ambalika's relatives from entering the house. According to Ramani, her first husband threw her out and so it is not even remotely possible that she was visiting him. She said shewas the third wife of Praveen and though she was accepted gracefully when the second wife was still living, now they were not treating her well. Ramani felt it was Diya, Ambalika's daughter who was the troublemaker. According to Ramani, whenever Diya was at home, she poisoned Ambalika's mind and created relationship problems. When Diya was out of the house, they shared a fairly good rapport. Ramani felt that if Diya was not allowed to interfere in life at Praveen's home, things could be better. Dignity Foundation volunteers visited the family several times and reconciliation was reached between the estranged parties.
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